Opening Reflection: The Role of the Set Aside Prayer AA in Recovery

I still remember the first time I heard the set aside prayer aa in an AA meeting. I was maybe three weeks sober, sitting in a folding chair that squeaked every time I shifted, and this guy up front asked us all to bow our heads. He said something like, “God, help me set aside everything I think I know…” and I thought, Wait, what? I’d spent years knowing exactly how to drink, how to hide it, how to convince myself I was fine. Letting go of what I thought I knew felt like jumping off a cliff. But that little set aside prayer aa stuck with me. It wasn’t about erasing everything—just making space. Space for something new to land.

That’s what the set aside prayer aa does. It’s not fancy. It’s not in the Big Book. But in rooms full of people trying to stay sober, the set aside prayer aa is like hitting the reset button on your brain. It says: Today, I’m willing to be wrong. I’m willing to listen. I’m willing to not have all the answers. And in recovery, that willingness? That’s where the magic starts.

In this piece, I’m walking you through everything I’ve learned about the set aside prayer aa—what it is, where it came from, how people say it, why it matters, how to actually use the set aside prayer aa, the traps to avoid, and a bunch of real-talk FAQs. Whether you’re brand new or you’ve got years under your belt, the set aside prayer aa can still shake things up—in the best way.

Defining the Set Aside Prayer AA in AA Context

So what is the set aside prayer aa, exactly? It’s a short, humble little thing people say before meetings, before reading the Big Book, or even just to themselves when they’re stuck. A version I hear a lot goes like this:

“Dear God, please help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, the Big Book, the Twelve Steps, the Program, the Fellowship, all spiritual terms—and especially about You—so that I may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things. Please help me see the Truth.”

It’s not official AA literature. You won’t find the set aside prayer aa in the Big Book or Twelve and Twelve. But the set aside prayer aa is all over the rooms. And it’s not really about the words—it’s about the posture. It’s saying, “I’m done pretending I’ve got it all figured out. Teach me something.”

Historical Roots and Emergence of the Set Aside Prayer AA

Nobody’s 100% sure where the set aside prayer aa started, but the story I’ve heard—and it gets passed around like recovery folklore—is that some old-timer told a newcomer, “You know just enough about AA to be dangerous. Why don’t you set aside everything you think you know and just listen?” That stuck. Someone turned it into the set aside prayer aa. And boom—next thing you know, the set aside prayer aa is being said in meetings from California to Dublin.

The set aside prayer aa is not in the official texts, but it feels like AA. Because the Big Book talks over and over about laying aside prejudice, being willing to believe, letting go of old ideas. Page 568 (in the 4th edition) says something like, “We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe… we commenced to get results.” The set aside prayer aa? It’s just that idea, wrapped in a bow and handed to you before you even open the book.

Wording and Variations: How the Set Aside Prayer AA Performs

There’s no “official” version of the set aside prayer aa, which is kind of perfect—because recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all. Here are a few I’ve heard:

• “God, help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, the Big Book, the Steps, the Program, the Fellowship, and especially You—so I can have an open mind and a new experience. Help me see the Truth.”
• “Dear God, please let me set aside everything I think I know—about recovery, about You, about me—so I can hear something new today. Amen.”
• “Higher Power, help me lay down what I think I know about all this, so I can pick up what I need to learn.”

Some say the set aside prayer aa fast. Some say the set aside prayer aa slow. Some change “God” to “Spirit” or “Universe.” Doesn’t matter. The heart of the set aside prayer aa is the same: I’m willing to be teachable.

Why the Set Aside Prayer AA Matters in the 12-Step Journey

Here’s why this little set aside prayer aa punches above its weight:

1. It kills the ego (gently). Recovery runs on humility. And nothing says “I don’t know everything” like asking to set it all aside with the set aside prayer aa.
2. It breaks the loop of old thinking. “I’ve tried this before.” “This won’t work for me.” “I know how this goes.” The set aside prayer aa says: Maybe not. Let’s find out.
3. It makes room for wonder. When you stop assuming, you start noticing. A line in the Big Book hits different. A share from a newcomer lands like a gut punch. You see things with the set aside prayer aa.
4. It’s spiritual WD-40. Stuck? Resistant? Say the set aside prayer aa. It loosens the grip of self-will just enough to let something else in.
5. It reminds you: you’re not done. Even at 10 years sober, you don’t graduate. You just keep showing up, willing to learn with the set aside prayer aa.

How to Integrate the Set Aside Prayer AA into Daily Recovery Practice

Want to actually use the set aside prayer aa? Here’s how I do it—and how I’ve seen others make the set aside prayer aa stick.

• Start your meeting with the set aside prayer aa. Even if the group doesn’t say it, whisper the set aside prayer aa to yourself before the Serenity Prayer. Sets the tone.
• Say the set aside prayer aa before you read. Big Book? Step work? Journaling? Pray the set aside prayer aa first. “Help me set aside what I think this says, so I can hear what it’s actually saying.”
• Use the set aside prayer aa when you’re pissed or stuck. “I know this sponsor is wrong.” Nope. Set it aside with the set aside prayer aa. Ask: What if I don’t know?
• Write it down after the set aside prayer aa. After you say the set aside prayer aa, jot one thing you’re setting aside. “I think I’m unfixable.” “I think Step 4 is pointless.” Name it. Release it.
• Pair the set aside prayer aa with action. Prayer without legs is just words. After you say the set aside prayer aa, do something—call your sponsor, raise your hand, help the newcomer with the coffee.
• Make the set aside prayer aa a morning ritual. Before coffee, before phone, before chaos: “Help me set aside what I think I know about today.”

Common Misunderstandings and Pitfalls Around the Set Aside Prayer AA

I’ve fallen into a few of these with the set aside prayer aa. Learn from my stumbles.

• Thinking the set aside prayer aa is magic. It’s not a spell. It’s a request. You still gotta show up.
• Saying the set aside prayer aa like a robot. If you’re just mouthing words, you’re missing the point. Pause. Mean the set aside prayer aa.
• Never naming what you’re setting aside in the set aside prayer aa. “Everything I think I know” is too vague. Get specific. What are you holding onto?
• Using the set aside prayer aa once and done. This isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a daily (hourly?) practice.
• Thinking the set aside prayer aa means you have to agree with everything. Nope. It means you listen—then decide.
• Treating the set aside prayer aa like official doctrine. It’s not. It’s a tool. Use the set aside prayer aa or don’t. No guilt.

The Psychological and Spiritual Dimensions of the Set Aside Prayer AA

The set aside prayer aa works on your brain and your soul.

Psychologically: The set aside prayer aa is cognitive defusion—stepping back from your thoughts. “I think I know” becomes “I have a thought.” That tiny gap? That’s where change lives.

Emotionally: The set aside prayer aa softens defensiveness. Shame thrives in certainty. Openness starves it.

Spiritually: The set aside prayer aa is surrender lite. Not “Thy will be done”—more like, “I don’t know Your will. Help me be quiet enough to hear it.”

Together? The set aside prayer aa is a reset button for the whole system.

Practical Examples: Using the Set Aside Prayer AA in Meetings and at Home

Example 1: The Meeting You walk in, still mad from traffic. Someone says the set aside prayer aa. You roll your eyes—then actually say the set aside prayer aa. By the time the first share starts, you’re not stewing. You’re listening. Someone says something that cracks you open. You cry. You didn’t plan that.

Example 2: Step Work You’re on Step 4. Again. You know your resentments. You say the set aside prayer aa. Suddenly, a name pops up you hadn’t thought of in years. You write it down. That’s the set aside prayer aa working.

Example 3: Morning Quiet Time Alarm goes off. You groan. You say the set aside prayer aa. You don’t feel different—but you pick up the Big Book instead of your phone. That’s enough.

Example 4: Relapse Vibes You’re white-knuckling. “I’ve got this.” You say the set aside prayer aa. You call your sponsor. You don’t drink. That’s the set aside prayer aa saving your ass.

Benefits of Regular Use of the Set Aside Prayer AA

• You stop arguing with the Big Book.
• You hear the newcomer like they’re the oracle.
• You stay humble—even when you’re the one with 20 years.
• You relapse less—because you’re not sure you’ve got it handled.
• Your spirituality deepens. You stop managing God and start listening with the set aside prayer aa.

Incorporating Set Aside Prayer AA into Group Culture and Meeting Formats

Want to bring the set aside prayer aa to your home group?

• Open with the set aside prayer aa. After Serenity, before readings.
• Use the set aside prayer aa in Big Book studies. “Let’s set aside what we think this page means…”
• Teach newcomers the set aside prayer aa. “This isn’t required. It’s just a way to show up empty-handed.”
• Close with the set aside prayer aa (optional). “As we go out, help us set aside what we think we know about the world…”

Addressing Questions and Clarifications About the Set Aside Prayer AA

Is the set aside prayer aa “official”? Nope. Fellowship invention. Totally optional.

What if I don’t believe in God? Say “Higher Power.” Or “Universe.” Or just “Help me be open.” The point of the set aside prayer aa isn’t theology—it’s willingness.

When should I say the set aside prayer aa? When you’re clenched. When you’re cocky. When you’re crying. When you’re quiet.

Does the set aside prayer aa replace other prayers? No. It’s a warm-up act. Serenity Prayer still closes the show.

Can I use the set aside prayer aa outside AA? Hell yes. Before therapy. Before a hard conversation. Before life.

Transitioning from Prayer to Practice: Living the Set Aside Prayer AA Moment

1. Say the set aside prayer aa. Out loud. Slow.
2. Name one thing. “I think I’m too broken.”
3. Let it go. Imagine putting it in a box. Close the lid.
4. Do the next thing. Read. Share. Listen. Move.
5. Check in later. Did anything shift? Even a little?

Lifelong Implications: Why the Set Aside Prayer AA Remains Relevant

At 90 days, the set aside prayer aa helps you admit you don’t know jack. At 9 years, the set aside prayer aa keeps you from thinking you’re a recovery guru. At 90 years old, the set aside prayer aa reminds you: You still don’t have to have it all figured out.

Encouragement for Beginners: If You’re Just Starting, Here’s How to Use the Set Aside Prayer AA

You don’t have to get the set aside prayer aa. You don’t have to believe the set aside prayer aa. Just say the set aside prayer aa like you’re trying on a coat. If it fits—even a little—keep it. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. But give the set aside prayer aa a shot. The worst that happens? You waste 10 seconds. The best? You hear something that saves your life.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about the Set Aside Prayer AA

What am I actually setting aside with the set aside prayer aa? Everything you’re sure about—your story, your fixes, your God concept, your “I’ve got this.”

Can I change the words of the set aside prayer aa? Please do. Make the set aside prayer aa yours. The prayer police aren’t coming.

When’s the best time to say the set aside prayer aa? When you’re clenched. When you’re cocky. When you’re crying. When you’re quiet.

Does the set aside prayer aa mean I forget everything I’ve learned? No. It means you hold it lightly. Like a tool, not a cage.

What if I’m an atheist? Try: “Help me set aside certainty so I can stay curious.” Same vibe as the set aside prayer aa.

I forgot to say the set aside prayer aa—am I screwed? Nah. Say the set aside prayer aa now. Recovery’s not a pop quiz.

Is the set aside prayer aa enough on its own? It’s a match. You still need the kindling—meetings, steps, people.

Closing Reflection

Recovery isn’t about getting it right. It’s about staying reachable. The set aside prayer aa is a tiny key that unlocks that door—every single time. It doesn’t demand faith. It doesn’t demand perfection. It just asks: Can you be empty for a minute? Can you let something in?

Say the set aside prayer aa when you’re raw. Say the set aside prayer aa when you’re smug. Say the set aside prayer aa when you’re scared you’re done growing. And watch what happens